i am sam.

the name is sam. sam sam sam. it's not sammy, sam-o, sampot, samsam, sam-dude, or any other derivative or variant of sam. why do people insist on mangling my name? myself included!

(well, there you go, stupid. you have no right to complain).

i mean, if i'm sam, why the hell is this blog's url "ll"? why is my e-mail address "ll"? who the hell is ll? long story short: UP gave me "llmarcelo" and my anal self decided that all e-mail addresses and usernames must follow suit. easier to remember that way. so it has been, only my yahoo account was spared since it predates my UP e-mail address, the same UP e-mail address that i DO NOT USE anymore.

when i think of myself, i think "sam." i am sam i am.

i think, therefore i'm sam.

ego, identity, me, myself, i=sam.

i'm also a "marcelo." that's my favorite in-joke: "marcelo." depending on how you say it, it's either an insult or a compliment. and only a marcelo can deliver the marcelo in-joke properly.

so, i am sam marcelo. i always have been.

the freaky thing is, there is ANOTHER sam marcelo out there. i've googled myself several times (oh, c'mon, don't tell me you haven't) and turned up another sam marcelo. she's my age, she's also a samantha, and she lives somewhere in canada... i think.

this individual has as much right to think of herself as "sam marcelo" as i do. before i learned of my canadian doppelganger, i knew that i was the best at one thing: being me, being sam marcelo. turns out, there's another "sam marcelo" who is as good as i am at being "sam marcelo."

i'm twisting my mind into a pretzel here. can you tell? these are existential issues!

even our paper's database has trouble saying exactly who i am, i'm listed in at least three different ways. one thing writing for businessworld has given me is an appreciation for my middle initial. the "l" is my mom, i should let it stand. she's as much a part of me as "sam" and "marcelo." there's also something very sensual about "l." it's the tongue stroking, caressing the palate. i digress.

going back: i thought i knew who i was. then my bank had to go and tell me otherwise, so i had to write a letter. i kinda forgot that banks are, like, formal institutions.

To Whom It May Concern:

This is to declare that "Leslie Samantha L. Marcelo" and "Samantha L. Marcelo" and "Sam L. Marcelo" are one and the same person.

...

Thanks, and my apologies.

Leslie Samantha L. Marcelo (or Samantha, or almost always, just Sam)