Sunday, July 30, 2006

worst pick-up lines, ever.

"are you married?" (do i LOOK like i'm married?)
"are you a girl?" (not the approach i'd use)
"are you naughty?" (my parents think i am)
"what's your sign?" (oh my god, people actually use that line?)
"make me a good writeup, baby" (baby? who are you calling baby?)

speaking of writeups (all those lines above came from a guy i had to interview for a supplement. he reminded me of a bald and bearded johnny bravo). i made seven pieces around 450 words each and due to lack of space they had to be whittled down to a quote each.

analogies:
1. "i'm sorry, but all we could find of sam's corpse was a fingernail."
2. "could you condense beowulf into a haiku, we're kinda short on paper."

it was frustrating because they had stories to tell. but as my editor said, "let go."

so i'm letting go... this serves as a eulogy for my 3,000 plus words.
rest well, say hi to all my killed intros for me.

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